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I just submitted my last and final paper for the Fall 2012 semester! I was expecting a huge rush of relief to wash over me...nope. I still feel stressed but the source is J. He left for PR indefinitely this afternoon. When he called to say goodbye, he was so casual about it that I started to tear up. It all depends on if American Airlines calls him back to work. Meanwhile I just have to take the loss. And it's a great loss. I was just about to fall in love, I was standing right at the edge looking down on the possibilities. Now I have to wait and see?! I don't want to date again, I think I'm going to redirect my energies into balancing school and work for and entire semester and getting in better shape physically. So that if and when he returns, I won't feel like I haven't changed or made any recognizable progress in my life. The only reasonable consolation is that famed quoted "it is greater to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
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